I have to start out this post with a short story. In my class today, we watched a video about using quotation marks. After the video, we had a short discussion in class about the 3 rules the video talked about, and I asked the students what they thought about the video. One girl said, "It was stupid," and instead of retorting back, I asked her to explain why she thought it was stupid. She then said that the video made the rules obvious and that the guy's accent (English) was funny. After class, my teacher complimented me for asking the student to expand rather than having a negative reaction to her comment. Thank you Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
I really liked the chapter on discipline. I am not a fanatic about spanking or not spanking so the whole anti-corporal punishment attitude wasn't really significant to me, but I did like the alternative suggestions that the book puts forth. I think it again really comes down to validating the student's problems, because through this the child is then free to see the error of their ways. If they are so caught up in the emotions, there is not any room for other thought. I loved the story at the end of the chapter from a parent whose daughter wrecked their car, but wrote a note apologizing and giving money for the repair. Yes, I got a tear.
Chapter 4 tied in nicely with 3 in that problem solving together not only helps dialogue between authority figure and student, but it also teaches compromise. Once we get past the validation, we can then move onto problem solving. I thought the idea of coming up with rules as a class was great because all together, students can decide on the basic ones and don't feel so bad about eliminating the silly ones.
I am really interested in how you are applying some of the tenets of the book in your teaching experience. I agree that some things in the book are a bit silly, but I do find some good stuff in what they have to say.
ReplyDeleteI would say my first practice at using this book in the classroom would be when I asked the girl who claimed the video to be stupid to explain. Rather than telling her that she was wrong, or saying "No, this isn't stupid" and arguing, I asked her to expand on what she meant. This opened up a dialogue for deeper thought.
ReplyDeleteI am really starting to see the point in what the book is trying to say about validation. I really think this where things might have gotten lost for most kids. They never felt validated, something I'm sure I really don't understand, since I wasn't brought up having that need to feel validated. Still so much to learn and understand.
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